For the last 10 years, I have been walking out the practice of choosing to be happy. I stopped expecting someone else to “make” me happy and have been learning that it is a choice. Most days I choose well but in one area, I have never allowed myself the space to be happy. That area is in my weight. I have always been dissatisfied, always thought I was wrong and always lived in the struggle of trying to meet an expectation that I put on myself based on what was “right” in our society. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel dissatisfied with my size….and I have been so many sizes! None of them were the “right” size at the time. I have tried a hundred diets, “lifestyle changes”, juice fasts, pills and even only drinking shakes all day for months and yes, every time I lost some weight…but every time it comes back and usually brings some friends with it. It’s sad and vicious.
This week I read this article and it has impacted me in ways I am still beginning to understand. Go ahead, skip over there and read it. I’ll wait. ;)
Here’s the thing, I’ve judged myself, and all the other people in the same category as me and it sucks. I said it was because I/they were unhealthy but what is most unhealthy is my judgements and honestly, hatred towards this “condition”. I’m ready to do the hard work to let this go.
My happiness and my health is worth it. It’s worth me choosing to claim something different so I can be healthy…and I truly believe that starts in the mind. It’s learning to believe that I can be healthy and happy and still weigh over 200 pounds. (GASP!) I’m gonna figure this out. I hope you will join me!
I am a beautiful, authentic, free, valuable, vivacious, healthy Woman! I’m learning to love her (and all her curves) and be happy.